The Toxiturkey and other Holiday Catastrophes

It's that time of year again when everyone starts thinking about the holidays. D- and I are hosting a holiday potluck tomorrow, except D- decided on Saturday that I was hosting the party he was mearly fixing a turkey and had invited two friends. I think we've moved past that arguement though. Now he plans to slowly rot the turkey he bought by putting it in the oven at midnight at 200 degrees and letting it cook until he gets up in the morning. Granted I may not like to cook, but I know how to cook and I cook one mean turkey. Ok, I've cooked two mean turkeys in my life, but I know better than what he has planned. So either everyone tomorrow will get the secret don't eat the turkey signal or I will have taken over the process. I need to figure out what I have the energy for right now. D- also went on a tear last night because I said E- was going to be in attendence. It's been a standing joke between the two of us the E- has a crush on me (for the record he so does not). Apparently D- stopped thinking of it as a joke and failed to notify me of this change.
So this has been my week so far

Sat: Informed that this is my party, so I am upset because I feel that all financial responsibility has been placed on me when it's our apartment and our party

Sun: D- bitches about the cats and how they got hair all over the clothes he washed over a week ago and failed to put up.

Mon: Grocery store fall out over turkey purchase. Go home and cry, D- says without me properly informing me of all plans he can only assume the party will be a failure.

Tues: I had a meeting but didn't really talk to D- as was to tired to have any sort of arguement

Wed: Nice dinner, but turns sour when I am told that the day of the party D- will be attending little D's basketball game.

Thursday: E- debacle. D- says I keep pushing him away. Well yea, he keeps poking me and it gets a little old.

Tomorrow I will be enjoying several cocktails at my party. Perhaps a hangover will be a much needed release.