Now that we've met

So after a long, long break I'm picking this blog back up. A few weeks ago I decided to come off my Lexapro because I was feeling overly numb to emotion, but now I'm hitting the other side of the spectrum. It seems like all those sad emotions I wasn't able to feel for all those months are hitting me all at once. That and Ron Burgundy made a comment to me today that made me feel really shitty. Anyway, I'm also determined that I am going to stick with a diet, I've put on about ten pounds in the past few months and its really discouraging. I don't feel confident around people and I feel like a hideous monster everytime I leave the house. So I plan to also use this blog as a sort of food log. Today was a pretty good day eating wise, but I gave into some emotional eating after work. A little bit ago I tried some lemon sorbet, which is a good after dinner dessert because I can only have a couple of bites before it gets too acidic. But, here's my list~
1 serving rold gold pretzels tiny twists
4 Diet Cokes
1 bottle water
1 Four Cheese Lean Pocket
1.2 servings munchies
1/2 chicken vienna
broccoli spears with fat free butter
wavy lays
several glasses of water

-Til tomorrow!

Storms are Brewing in Your Eyes

Have you ever had one of those moments where you think to yourself, wait a minute people like me? I had one of those this afternoon after I got off the phone with my ex-pretend/secret boyfriend. It was the result of a culmination of events throughout the week, but it still is nice to realize. This weekend I have to start packing for the big move. I'm so ready to get into my new apartment and get it all decorated.
There is this guy that I've gone out on a few dates with, but decided that I'm really just not that in to. Since I've decided that there is no point in wasting my energy on something that I am not really excited about I don't want to waste either of our time. But he is totally thinking long term with me. Today he asked if I wanted to go to a fairly expensive event with him in over a month. I had no idea what to say. Do I go ahead and say, well if we go it will have to be as friends? Or do I lead him on and say sure I'd love to go?
I also decided today that I'm setting a goal of 30o hours to submit to the League for the upcoming year. It's twice what I put in last year, but I think I can do it.
Here's a fun addition, since I always use song lyrics for my titles, I'm making use of YouTube and including the videos. Unfortunately the first selection is rather cheesy.

Someone is listening from a safe distance

Here is what's been going on (in short form)

1) Things become so complicated as you get older. You have to worry about people sleeping with other people that could be hazardous to your career. TodayI thought to myself, when did we all change? When did we shift our dreams and ambitions to become the people we are right now. I don't think that the changes are bad though. I mean I thought about how I always saw myself in a creative field but instead I work in a very structured business environment. P had an entire life plan but now he questions every decision he makes. Friends change and you sometimes wonder why you became friends in the first place.

2) Weddings, engagements, and cheating. A weekend a few weekends ago has left me confused as to a certain state of affairs. An engagement went over like a lead balloon and I feel guilty about my reaction (even though I am very happy for this person, perhaps I'm feeling reticent or jealous). And see above for the last.

3) I'm moving in a month and can't wait to get in my new apartment.

4) I believe a certain individual who name starts with a D is trying to win back my affection. Umm, that's so over now I just find the whole thing insane.

5) I think I'm becoming overly picky in my dating. If you know me I know that you are thinking, her? she can't be picky! but I am and it worries me. Really I know what the problem is and I feel as though only a certain man will win my approval in the next few months.

I'd sure hate to breakdown here

I haven't been getting much sleep this week as a lot of things have been on my mind lately. So far I've gotten two people's advice on one situation. They each said completely different things, which completely match their personalities. This is one of those times that I really need my father around to tell me what is the most responsible thing to do (although P- gave me the advice that I, as someone young, should take). Then again P- also can give me some things to think about otherwise. S2- and I have decided that we should call him my FC (I'll leave that up to you to figure out), and I think that is going to be the case. I also think that I need to go on a nice normal date again. There is just so much that I want and so much that I am confused about right now. If anyone out there has any advice for my cryptic messages, feel free to advise.

Now I'm going to try and get some sleep even though I'm not tired anymore.

Now my world is offered up to you. . .

Yesterday J- and I were talking about the weather. Actually we were complaining about how how it had become, when it seems like only a couple of weeks ago I had to wear a coat into work. I said that I hate it when people say, "You know what they say about weather in Kentucky, wait until tomorrow and it will be different". It makes me crazy when people say that, and I'm not sure why. So in the spirit of that I thought I would mention a few key topics that J- and I talked about today. We always come up with random things to think about. And for those of you who may know me, no I am not talking about serious conversations with Baby J the cat.

- How did our accents change over time? Why did the British accent become the southern accent or the midwestern accent? Now that I've typed this I realize it probably has a lot to do with the different languages that came to America when everyone came to America.

- Why do the two people with the most annoying laughs always do so right by our cube neighborhood?

-Who are the people that find making string figures exciting? I would like to know the statistics on how many people actually think of this as their hobby. Then I could wonder which 5 people out of our office are going home and practicing making tea-cups and wheelbarrows out of circles of sting.

If anyone has any information pertaining to these topics feel free to comment, it will only aide in our pursuit of knowledge at work.